I almost mistakenly hit the ‘like’ icon on my own comment today after reading what I wrote about someone else’s blog post several days ago. While I hadn’t intended to do that, the only reason I didn’t ‘like’ my own post is because technically you can’t do that on BlogHer. While not a big deal initially I began to think further about what that means. The first thought that came to mind was the idea of voting for oneself in an election type of situation. Of course I would vote for myself and have every time I have run for any office. Important, I believe, because if I didn’t have confidence in myself to be the best candidate for what I was seeking election for, who would. Then it brought to mind the importance of self-esteem versus the opposite, which is a lack of self-confidence.
Anyone who reads my blogs knows that I love the beinggirl.com site and often use information from there to educate and make a point. In regards to self-confidence, there is a really good article on the site titled: Building Self Esteem. While the article was written for teens, the information is relevant to anyone who struggles with feeling good about herself.
The article begins with a definition of self-esteem using the Webster’s Dictionary which states that self esteem is: “a confidence and satisfaction in oneself.” Not surprisingly, for girls, self-confidence is related to appearance and peer acceptance. Too often, appearance means weight. Unfortunately, attempting to set the standard for femininity are media stars that are too slim and are often bedecked in the most expensive clothing and jewels. Not many of us can achieve that type of look. While I am an advocate of exercise and trying to stay within a normal bodyweight for health’s sake, media stars can take their bodies to a place that is unrealistic and can be unhealthy – not something we want our teen daughter’s to emulate nor hold up for ourselves to compare to when assessing our own being.
Whether we have it currently or need to build it up, a healthy self-esteem can be achieved. As the article on beinggirl.com states: Building self-esteem depends on attitude, attitude and more attitude. And, that is something we can control.
There are some ideas in the article to help achieve self-esteem. I have picked out a few that I found particularly meaningful for girls of all ages:
• Stop comparing yourself to others. Focus on the parts of yourself you like the best.
• Try to silence that inner critic who seems to find fault with so many things you do. That inner critic belongs to you, not anyone else.
• Exercise. You’ll unload stress and feel stronger and happier.
• Straighten up, smile, and look straight ahead. You’ll look and feel more confident. (This is something I so believe in. There have been times that I have been in situations where I felt totally like I didn’t belong. I faked it by smiling, pausing, looking around and acting like the Grande Dame of the moment. Worked for me – really!!)
• Importantly, don’t hesitate to ask for professional help if you need it. Healing emotional hurt and building self-esteem, sometimes takes some expert guidance. It takes work, but the payoff of better relationships, sticking with a project until it’s done, and dealing more easily with disappointments and mistakes is worth every second!
This is a new year and a time for a new start of good things. Start 2012 by pressing the ‘LIKE’ button on your inner being and I bet other aspects of your existence will be better too. At least that is what my New Year’s wish is for you!